How to Avoid Common Surrogacy Scams and Fraud

It didn’t take long for me to start hearing about scams when I joined the surrogacy community. I would spend a lot of time in matching groups reading stories. I wasn’t nearly ready to match yet, but I liked to follow the stories and cheer people on. It was here that I first started hearing about “red flags,” “warning signs,” “scams,” and “fraud.” Not knowing much about the process, I knew I needed to avoid surrogacy scams because who wants to be taken advantage of?

The more I looked into this, the more upsetting it became. Let’s be clear, these people have no intention of furthering your parenting dream. They don’t support or represent the surrogacy community and take away from surrogacy’s inherent beauty. Thankfully, for every surrogacy scam horror story, there are many more stories of amazing surrogates, fantastic relationships, priceless agencies, and miracle babies at the end of the rainbow. 

Why are there surrogacy scams?

Surrogacy can be a fantastic way to grow your family, but it involves a lot of emotions. When you’ve been trying to have a baby for years, and you keep hitting dead ends, it starts to wear you down. The desire to become a parent can sometimes cloud judgment, making it difficult to recognize red flags and distinguish between genuine offers of help and fraudulent schemes. You’re clinging to hope and the possibility that this time will be your time, and you may miss the signs that something isn’t right. 

Plus, surrogacy is so expensive and complex that you naturally look for ways around it, ways to chip at it a little to make it easier to handle. As you should – shopping around and researching can save your budget. But sometimes, a deal is too good to be true because it is. Scammers often prey on these vulnerabilities by offering seemingly ideal solutions or shortcuts to intended parents. 

Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know. Suppose you haven’t done your research yet and don’t have a great guide helping you to navigate the surrogacy process. In that case, you are more susceptible to scams exploiting your eagerness and hopefulness. Other times a totally normal situation is manipulated by someone taking advantage. Basically they prey on your pain. 

Thankfully not all is doom and gloom in the surrogacy world, and most people and professionals are there to support your family-building dreams. But it’s important to guard yourself against common surrogacy scams. 

Why do people choose surrogacy? 

Surrogacy is a popular option for those who struggle with fertility issues, same-sex couples, and those who can’t carry a pregnancy. It may be your only option to have a child with a genetic link or even to have a child at all. With surrogacy, you can be involved with the process from the beginning and have legal protection for your parentage. Especially if you’re coming to surrogacy from a long road of fertility struggles or dreaming of this journey for years, this is an emotionally charged process. 

How much does surrogacy cost? 

Surrogacy costs can vary greatly, depending on your unique situation. You have to take into account factors such as the surrogate’s compensation, medical expenses, insurance, legal costs, IVF and fertility procedures, and agency fees if you choose to use one. On average, the cost of surrogacy in the United States ranges from $80,000 to $150,000. This is a pretty wide range. If you want an estimate that’s more tailored to your journey and uses realistic numbers, download our free Ultimate Surrogacy Cost Guide. 

Budgeting accordingly and understanding what’s included in the fees is essential. While you’re looking at the numbers and trying to figure out how you will afford this, scammers are also looking and trying to figure out how to separate you from your money. Understanding the true cost of surrogacy and the areas where you can and cannot try to save is vital for avoiding common surrogacy scams. Yes, it’s cliche, but knowledge really is power, and it will help you to spot traps.  

How do common surrogacy scams work?

The most common surrogacy scams generally fall into 2 main categories.  

Fake surrogates scams 

Scammers pose as potential surrogates, only to disappear after receiving money from hopeful intended parents.

A couple met a woman in an online community who agreed to be their traditional surrogate. The couple traveled to her to provide semen for home insemination. She became pregnant and sent pictures of tests and ultrasounds. But it was all fake. The “surrogate” continued to con right up to the baby’s would-be due date when she claimed she was in a car accident and the baby was stillborn. 

Similarly, a couple from New Zealand couldn’t afford adoption or surrogacy using traditional channels, so they searched for cheaper solutions online. They met a woman from Oregon through an online classified ad, traveled to the US, completed a background check, and agreed to pay $10,000. They were excited when she became pregnant with a home insemination kit and regularly sent her money during the pregnancy. However, she was not pregnant and was actually tricking a US based couple also. She was ultimately sentenced to 20 days in jail, 2 years of probation, and barred from surrogacy programs and using the internet. 

Not all cons are carried on for months and months. A fake surrogate scam may be a potential surrogate asking for some sort of payment. This could be upfront compensation, an early deposit, sending her money to travel for screening, transferring her money to pay a lawyer, or covering her personal bills, for example. If you do send her money, she won’t follow through on her promises and will disappear with your hard-earned cash.

Fraudulent Professionals

Signing up with an agency that will screen and help you select a surrogate may seem like a great way to avoid scams. Still, unfortunately, many families have lost their savings because of fraud committed by agency owners. A fraudulent agency collects fees and promises services but never delivers on the surrogacy experience. They may even disappear after collecting the payments. 

The owner of a Maryland based agency, called the Surrogacy Group, collected fees from intended parents but didn’t follow through on services. The agency insisted on holding and paying out funds to the surrogates, however they didn’t make payments. While some people did have children while working with this agency, many were not so fortunate. With surrogates not receiving payments and intended parents contractually obligated to pay, intended parents had to find additional funds to support their surrogates. When they requested refunds from the agency, they were met with the runaround or silence. The owner, Greg Blosser, fled but was ultimately arrested just before boarding an international flight. He was found to have stolen over $ 1.1 million from 40 families worldwide. 

It isn’t just agencies that you have to be mindful of. Escrow companies and attorneys have also been caught preying on vulnerable intended parents. Thankfully you can learn from these stories and better protect yourself on your journey to parenthood.

10 Ways to Protect Yourself from Surrogacy Scams

1. Take your time: Don’t rush through the process. When you rush, you may miss red flags and other signs that something isn’t quite right. 
2. Do your research: Make sure you understand how surrogacy is supposed to work, including best practices. 
3. Look into your agency: If you choose to use an agency, find one that is reputable, has positive reviews, and has a proven track record.
4. Stay informed: Educate yourself about the surrogacy process and the legal requirements in your area.
5. Get to know your surrogate: She will carry your child for nine months. You want to build a real relationship and understand her personality and home life. 
6. Don’t skip steps: The surrogacy steps happen in a specific way to protect you from wasting money, legal trouble, and, yes, surrogacy scams. 
7. Have an excellent reproductive attorney: Find an attorney with experience handling surrogacy cases. They will also be able to look for signs that you are being scammed. 
8. Be careful about sending money: You generally shouldn’t pay a surrogacy until she passes all of the screening and legal contracts are in place. 
9. Listen to your gut and that little voice in your head: If a situation doesn’t feel right or if it’s a deal that seems too good to be true, it probably is (you know the saying!)
10. Talk to someone: Run the scenario by someone who understands surrogacy, such as a former intended parent. Sometimes when we’re too close to a situation or are desperate, we don’t even know that our judgment is clouded. Someone else may be better at sniffing out a scam. 

What should you look for in a surrogacy agency? 

You don’t need to use an agency to have a successful surrogacy journey, but you may like the added support of working with a professional. Keep in mind that not all agencies are created equal. There are some that have been around for years and have a proven track record. A new agency isn’t necessarily a problem, but you will have to make sure they are qualified to support you appropriately and that they seem legitimate. To find a trustworthy agency:

1. Seek recommendations from others who have gone through the surrogacy process.
2. Ask for references from intended parents and surrogates who they’ve worked with.
3. Consult with a fertility specialist or attorney who specializes in surrogacy. They routinely work with agencies and should know about how different ones operate. 
4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Be weary about having an agency also hold the money reserved for your surrogate in escrow.
5. Look for agencies with transparent fees and a solid support system for both surrogates and intended parents.
6. Make sure they aren’t skipping any of the surrogacy steps and are thoroughly screening your potential surrogates. 

What should you look for to find a genuine surrogate?

If you’re going to have a successful surrogacy journey, you need to partner with a stellar surrogate. Finding the right partner is an essential step in the process. If you’re embarking on an independent journey, you will interview candidates and select them for screening. Alternatively, you may have an agency do the heavy lifting for you. Either way, you’ll want to keep these things in mind to protect yourself from fake surrogate scams. 

1. Not everyone can be a surrogate; they have to meet basic requirements for safety.
2. A surrogate should not be asking you for money outside of what’s in your legal contract.
3. Surrogates must be financially stable, so stories about needing help to cover a sudden large expense should make you concerned about her financial status at a minimum and even a potential scam.
4. She should understand the steps and not encourage cutting corners.
5. She shouldn’t rush you to make decisions or move quicker than you’re comfortable. 
6. She should be willing to meet in person.
7. She should be on board with meeting professionals for medical and psychological screening. 
8. You should feel comfortable talking to her. If you get an uneasy feeling, listen to it.

What are the proper steps for surrogacy?

Understanding and following the proper steps helps to keep you secure. Both you and your potential surrogate should know and be prepared to participate in all phases of the process. The first step of the process is to meet with a fertility specialist to determine if surrogacy is the right choice for you, figure out the best way to create embryos and learn the requirements for surrogacy in their program. There are 3 phases in a successful surrogacy journey. Avoid missteps that could cost you thousands and set back your timeline by downloading the step-by-step surrogacy checklist. It’s totally free. 

Surrogacy is a beautiful way to expand your family, but it’s essential to protect yourself from potential scams. They may present themselves as surrogates or agencies, promising to provide the perfect match or expedited services at lower costs than reputable sources. Given the emotional investment and financial burden you’ve faced up to this point, it’s really tempting to jump into one of these offers and overlook the warning signs. But this could mean falling victim to a scam that leads to heartache and no baby. It is crucial for you, as the intended parent, to remain vigilant, thoroughly research, and work with reputable professionals to minimize risks. Surrogacy is all about reducing risks. Hopefully you’ve found these tips helpful as you move forward in your pathway to parenthood.